The housework is getting pretty overwhelming, isn’t it?
Seems like it’s a vicious cycle that just.doesn’t.stop and mom burnout cannot happen.
Time for backup.
Maybe you’ve seen your friend’s little one flying through a chore with his eyes closed. It got you thinking: should my kids have learned that by now too?
But then your brain catches up and you start second-guessing: are they too young? will it just be a fight the whole time? Is it fair to heap more work on them?
A study by Marty Rossman, from the University of Mississippi, revealed contributing to a family’s chores, as young as 3 years old, led to stronger emotional well-being, healthy relationships, and even successful careers as young adults.
Let’s go through all the benefits for the whole family and you’ll see by the end how chores are essential for a healthy family.
Advantages for the KIDS
Physical
1. Gross motor skills: These are big movements of the body, like vacuuming or picking up their toys. Kids have to move chairs around, move their bodies back and forth. These are all skills they need as they grow.
2. Fine motor skills: there are also many smaller actions to work on hand-eye coordination. For example, they can fold clothing, wipe up a spill, or wash a plate.
emotional/cognitive
3. Time management: Kids slowly learn how long a task should take, as well as more responsible thinking like the best time to do work and how to avoid procrastination.
A common lesson in our home is giving my kids as much time as they want to put away their laundry…but we start supper without them (don’t worry, I give them more than a reasonable amount of time). Each laundry session is shorter than the last.
4. Sequencing: Young children start to learn there’s a process of completing a good job. You can’t start them off with “clean your room”. You’ll need to teach them the many steps until the job is done.
5. Self-regulation: I rotate my kids’ chores so they are taught “for everything there is a season”. Some chores they look forward to, others they really, really don’t 😉
I use their complaining to explain my chores I don’t enjoy that they’ve never considered…and offer to trade them for cleaning the toilet… Works every time!
social
6. Life skills: Most young adults are floundering. They get to college prepared (ish) academically, but don’t know how to cook or wash laundry! What an added stress to have to learn how to live independently instead of being able to focus on studies and finding a job.
7. Teamwork: Chores should not be seen as a punishment but as an opportunity to work together to achieve a common goal. This teaches how to divide tasks, motivate others, and develop good communication skills. These skills will help to land that dream job more than a pretty resume because they are becoming so rare!
8. Self-confidence: You could consider this an emotional benefit as well, but I see this connected to life skills and teamwork. A child who knows she can do a capable job well has confidence in her abilities. She knows she’s a valuable part of a team and will be more willing to contribute her time and ideas.
spirITUAL
9. Service: Everyone, no matter what age or ability, has something they can give to their family and community. Kids should learn to help others even when it’s not their problem. A cheerful giver finds it easy to hear and answer a call to ministry or volunteering and gets so much in return!
Advantages for MOMS
1. Time: An obvious one, I know, but so priceless! With each chore you teach, there’s less to do on your own. Even teaching your child to do one task independently could save you hours!
2. Energy: It’s draining to feel like Cinderella, isn’t it? When you have a cooperative family, chores don’t feel like work anymore. Once you set up a routine, the complaining goes down, and the family hops to the housework because…it’s just what you do.
What freedom you’ll feel when you have one of those days and can’t get to chores…you don’t have to stress, because you have your family to back you up. You can all tackle it together the next time.
Taking the plunge into family chores
After all those benefits, it’s easy to see how vital chores are for your family. But you might still be hesitating…wondering if you have the time and energy to even start…even if you know you’ll get it back in the end.
It’s not as bad as you think if you see the big picture and start with very small, very simple steps (trust me, your kids need to start slowly too).
UNDERSTANDING THE INITIAL TIME INVESTMENT
It is important to mention that there is a cost in the beginning. Some parents make the mistake of slapping up a chart on the fridge and telling their kids to get started.
That’s where the complaining comes in…and the arguments…and the exhaustion for you.
To avoid most of the negativity, you’re going to have to first spend quality time (which kids absolutely love) modelling the exact steps you expect for a certain chore.
Yes, getting a smooth-running chore system is going to take time and energy in the beginning.
But once your child has gained independence in basic chores, you will have made those investments back a hundredfold with cutting out the housework overwhelm!
In my Strategic Chore Workbook, I lay out the exact steps you’ll need to take to take your child from being unable to do a task to completing it with full independence in no time!
When done properly, you’ll be able to cut down anxiety and meltdowns waaaay faster.
The initial time to teach chores properly and lay down a solid routine is crucial to a peaceful, cooperative home.
Tired mama, the time and energy you’ll get in return for teaching chores will be so worth it. You will not regret the many gifts you and your family will get from doing chores together.
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