Tired of chasing after your kids with endless reminders? Use this easy back-to-school routine to save you stress and boost your kids’ independence.
Weekday mornings can make or break your day, can’t they?
You either feel like you’ve got it all together or you’re stressed and frustrated.
Do you sometimes wonder why your kids can’t get out the door on time – with all of their things – when it’s the same routine every morning?
If you’re looking to have smoother mornings, where you don’t have to yell at someone
- to hurry up
- or to try looking for that lost item here
- or to give you more than 30 seconds’ notice that they signed you up to bring a snack to the class party…
…you’re going to need a solid but simple routine that your kids can follow – without having to nag, repeat, or yell.
I’d like to invite you into my home for a day, where I’ll share our morning, afternoon, and school night routines that guarantee a stress-free morning for the whole family.
Then I’ll give some quick tips on creating the perfect back-to-school routine for your family.
a consistent back-to-school routine grows a sense of stability and competence
In order to have kids who can run through this routine independently, we need to shift our mindset:
A lack of routine doesn’t give our kids freedom.
Without one, kids don’t have the safety that comes from knowing what comes next. They feel unprepared and anxious about deadlines. They aren’t ready on time because they haven’t made “getting ready” a habit.
Alternatively, when we expect our children to be responsible for their back-to-school routine, we’re strengthening all sorts of life skills like:
- Time management and Planning: how to follow a practical sequence of tasks and finish on time
- Focus: how to stick with a job until it’s finished (and done well)
- Flexibility: if someone else is in the bathroom, they can learn to switch tasks while they’re waiting
- Self-Regulation: no one like washing a lunch kit when they could be playing outside with friends, but if it’s in the routine – and they know they can play afterwards, they’ll grow self-discipline to do the work first
Aha! Parenting writes that consistent routines are essential for a child’s self-confidence, growth mindset and independence:
Children, like the rest of us, handle change best if it is expected and occurs in the context of a familiar routine. A predictable routine allows children to feel safe, and to develop a sense of mastery in handling their lives. As this sense of mastery is strengthened, they can tackle larger changes: walking to school by themselves, paying for a purchase at the store, going to sleepaway camp.
Unpredictable changes – Mom called away on an unexpected business trip, a best friend moving, or more drastic, parents divorcing or a grandparent dying – erode this sense of safety and mastery and leave the child feeling anxious and less able to cope with the vicissitudes of life. Of course, many changes can’t be avoided. But that’s why we offer children a predictable routine as a foundation in their lives–so they can rise to the occasion to handle big changes when they need to.
While helping children feel safe and ready to take on new challenges and developmental tasks would be reason enough to offer them structure, it has another important developmental role as well. Structure and routines teach kids how to constructively manage themselves and their environments.
~ Dr. Laura Markham, Aha! Parenting blog
how to make this back-to-school routine stick
Now, this doesn’t mean we should push them out of the nest on day 1 and expect them to fly!
There’s a progression of learning a new routine that can speed up children’s mastery of it.
For the first few weeks of school, sure, walk them through each step of the routine.
Then have them do it with verbal reminders and cues.
But after that initial teaching and habit-learning period, it should be expected that your kids will follow through on their own.
Our kids are much more capable than we think and need to hear and experience our confidence that they can handle a typical day well.
A solid back-to-school routine implies we believe they can complete their tasks with minimum help. After the initial practice, we’re no longer going to accept lost items, piles of belongings on the floor or shrugging when we ask our kids to do a task.
stop tolerating what is causing stressful mornings
Failing to speak up about something carries the implication that you are OK with it—that you are prepared to continue tolerating it… If you tolerate your child’s lack of respect, you will continue to get no respect. Each time you tolerate a behavior, you are subtly teaching that person that it is OK to treat you that way.”
― Margie Warrell, Find Your Courage!
In all honesty?
Those shoes piled up at the front door are there because we’ve tolerated it all summer.
The lost library books could be because we haven’t designated a specific home where they must go after reading.
Forgotten lunch can be avoided if it’s expected that, after supper, everyone packs leftovers or comes up with a healthy alternative.
Now, let me show you a sample family routine for some inspiration.
BEDTIME routine
A smooth morning begins the night before.
I have my kids do as much prep work after supper and during their bedtime routine to save time and effort the next morning.
For example, after supper we will:
- wash dishes and empty the sink
- prep breakfast (my kids make fast recipes, like Overnight Oats, found in the Kids’ Cooking Menu Plan)
- pack their lunches (using leftovers or healthy alternatives) and snacks from the stocked snack bin
- pack their backpacks with agendas and forms, library books, etc.
- pick out the next day’s outfit
- return items to their morning bucket (brush, toothbrush, deodorant)
- fold and hang up clean laundry
morning routine
My one daughter is NOT a morning person and needs her routine to be quick and easy. When everything is prepped and packed the night before, she can sleepwalk through her mornings and still get in the car on time.
Before school, we will:
- get dressed and do basic hygiene
- tidy up one category of belongings in bedrooms (or pick up 10 things) using the Clean Your Room Roadmap found in the Organized Family Toolbox.
- pop laundry in the washer if it’s their weekly laundry day
- eat a healthy, quick breakfast (or pack it to be eaten in the car if you’re my sleepwalking daughter)
- put lunches in the backpacks
- grab coat and shoes and away we go!
after school routine
After-school routines are essential because they reinforce good habits the minute kids walk in the door.
After school, we will:
- hang up masks, backpacks, coats, and put shoes away
- place agendas and loose papers on my desk (which I sign immediately)
- wash lunch kits
- switch laundry load to the dryer
- do homework
- do a quick tidy of individual belongings on the main floor and other weekly chores
how to create a simple back-to-school routine
Now it’s your turn.
For a routine to be successful, there must be
- a (specific) home for all back-to-school belongings and supplies
- a firm daily routine and a clear expectation that your kids cannot move on to the next activity until they’ve finished the previous job
- visual reminders/checklists they can look at, and that you can defer to instead of repeating instructions
- open conversations about what you and your kids need for a smooth morning: problem-solve together and be flexible.
Creating a solid, easy-to-follow back-to-school routine involves 3 steps: problem-solving as a family, making the steps of the routine visual and accessible, and organizing the home with quick, easy tidying in mind.
1. problem-solve as a family
Start with a family meeting to discuss challenges each family member has experienced in the mornings, after school, and evening:
- What does your family need to have a stress-free, smooth morning?
- How can you help each other get out the door on time without frustration?
- What can be simplified, prepped ahead of time, or switched to a different time block to make things easier?
Problem-solve together how you can prevent these obstacles, like the ones below:
Challenge 1: not getting tasks done on time
For example, my daughter wasn’t getting her laundry done on time because she was so tired in the mornings and had trouble focusing.
Instead, we simply had her pop her laundry in the night before her designated day and push the delay start button. Easy peasy!
Challenge 2. kids keep losing things
Create homes for their school belongings near the entryway so they can consistently drop them in their basket as they come in.
Challenge 3. rushed or unhealthy breakfast
Breakfast taking too long? Or choosing unhealthy shortcuts more often than not?
Simplify using my 1:4 Recipe Framework: teach them one standard recipe, like a smoothie, then have them change up the flavours each week. Same breakfast every Monday, but you don’t get tired of it!
What changes can your family make to their routine for an easier school day?
2. create a realistic routine and put it up where kids easily see it.
After the family meeting, it’s time to piece the day together!
Sort your list of tasks into the best timeframe (morning, after school, and evening) and make a hard copy.
Place it on your fridge or somewhere the kids can see it easily instead of asking you for help remembering. If your kids are younger, use pictures to show tasks, like in the Editable Chore and Routine Checklist Bundle.
3. organize the space for quick, easy tidying
Read more on my back-to-school organization tips here, but make sure each belonging has a home close to where it’s used. We have hooks on our entryway bench for masks, a mat for their shoes, and lockers around the corner for their backpacks.
Kids should never have the excuse that they don’t know where to put something; it should be obvious.
back-to-school mornings can be stress-free!
If your family sticks to them daily, this big list only takes a few minutes in the morning, afternoon, and evening and saves you so much time!
To get your mornings back on track, create a family-approved routine and walk through it with your kids for a couple of weeks. Stay firm! You live with what you tolerate!
After that, explain that they’re on their own – but set them up for success with a strong organizational system and clear visual reminders.
Need a hand? Download the back-to-school room-by-room checklists to get your home optimized for these routines.
read more:
- Back-to-school Organization: You need to focus on 5 crucial zones
- 5 back-to-school tools your kids need to be successful
- Fix-My-Schedule Assessment: what are you missing that’s preventing a smooth day?
- Teach kids to make their own snacks and lunches
- Yes, your kids can do their own laundry. Here’s how
- How to set up a staggeringly smooth chore chart